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1. Tom Burk is going to speak about how to
1) make friends.
2) influence people.
3) make a favourable impression.
2. According to Tom Burk, when making an acquaintance one should NOT look to be
1) interested.
2) too self-confident.
3) friendly.
3. What does Tom Burk think about a talent for communication?
1) People are born with it.
2) It can be developed.
3) Few people have it now.
4. What is Tom Burk’s attitude towards online communication?
1) He is against it.
2) He promotes it.
3) He thinks it could be problematic.
5. What does Tom Burk say about the ‘total honesty’ policy?
1) It’s a very useful policy.
2) It’s not for the beginning of an acquaintance.
3) It’s a policy the psychologists don’t agree about.
6. Which of the following topics would be suitable for the first meeting conversation according to Tom Burk?
1) Personal problems.
2) People around you.
3) Cultural events.
7. According to Tom Burk, communication problems may happen when
1) parents are strict with their children.
2) people begin to discuss difficult issues.
3) people meet after a long period of time.
1 – 1
2 – 2
3 – 2
4 – 3
5 – 2
6 – 3
7 – 3
Presenter: Here we are with our program ‘Daily Psychology’. Our expert, Tom Burk, will tell us something exciting about building relationships in the modern world. Hello, Tom!
Tom Burk: Good afternoon.
Presenter: So, Tom, tell us about today’s topic?
Tom Burk: Today we’re focusing on the psychology of starting a relationship or getting acquainted. When do people decide if they want to become friends? It turns out it happens during the first four minutes they’re together. Today I’ll offer some brief advice to anyone who is about to start a new friendship, but as we have just a few minutes on today’s show, let me sum it up like this: if you meet someone in a social situation, give them your full attention for four minutes.
Presenter: So how should people behave during these four minutes?
Tom Burk: Firstly, when somebody is introducing us to new people, we should try to be friendly and self-confident. In general, people like people who like themselves. On the other hand, we shouldn’t make the other person think we are too sure of ourselves. It’s important to be interested and sympathetic, realizing that the other person has their own needs, fears and hopes. Pay attention to their interests, hobbies, family members, and the result will be practically immediate.
Presenter: So probably you need to be born with these skills?
Tom Burk: I often hear people say you must have a talent for communication. True, some people establish contacts faster and more effectively than others, but this ability isn’t genetic and can be learned.
Presenter: Several people nowadays have their first communication with other people on-line. Are your recommendations useful for them?
Tom Burk: For many modern people Internet communication is the best way to start a relationship, either because of their lifestyle or their character. For instance, they may work long hours or they’re shy. However, meeting someone online can be fine if at the end you want to meet them face-to-face. Sorry to say, Internet addicts are a common problem — these people just can’t stop surfing the Net, and they never actually meet their online friends in real life.
Presenter: Acting self-confident sounds like good advice — but is it really for everyone?
Tom Burk: Some people might think it’s dishonest to give the appearance of friendly self-confidence when we don’t actually feel that way. Perhaps, but many psychologists believe that so-called ‘total honesty’ isn’t always good for social relationships, especially during the first four minutes of contact, and I share their point of view. Some play-acting may be good for the first minutes of contact with a stranger. For example, a first meeting probably isn’t the best time to complain about your health or to find faults with other people. It’s better just to ask questions, talk about the weather and cultural life, things like that.
Presenter: So it’s not the time to tell the whole truth about your opinions.
Tom Burk: Exactly.
Presenter: Do you have any final recommendations, Tom?
Tom Burk: I’d like to add that much of what was said here can also be applied to relationships with family members and friends. According to scientists, husbands and wives or parents and children often have problems during the first four minutes they’re together after being apart for some time. Psychologists think that everyone should treat the first four minutes together with the utmost care. If there are some unpleasant issues, they should probably discuss them a bit later. After they’ve got used to each other again, they can talk about it with greater understanding.
